Aug 25, 2011

Delicious Odors

I don't really sweat much at all. I usually stay inside, where the climate is controlled and I don't have to undergo physical activity. Therefore antiperspirant is not generally on the top of my considerations. It's just an occasional "oh yeah that" thing. Therefore, when I was packing for summer camp in June, the thought of deodorant did not even cross my mind.

Suddenly, summer happened: the weather was hot, and I was undergoing slightly more physical activity than usual. For obvious reasons, my roommates complained. When they went into the city one day to see a concert, they promised me that they would bring back some deodorant for me. And sure enough, they did. They got me Dove Revive Pomegranate and Lemon Verbena scented deodorant.

They also took it upon themselves to buy me a cologne.

They had purchased the cologne for $5 at a deli in Brewster. It was a Mexican cologne called Florida Water. It featured a naked woman on the front of the bottle, and was described as "an exquisite blend of cinnamon, orange, and spices." The ingredients were listed at the bottom of the label: water, "fragrances," alcohol, and dye. The label also described the cologne as "20% more free," the meaning of which eludes me to this day, because it was printed right on the bottle's label, so it clearly wasn't on sale, which leaves me to wonder what it was more free than. The cologne itself smelled like a vile mix between cinnamon and marijuana, and was simply generally unappealing.

So I started using the Pomegranate & Lemon Verbena deodorant, because it was better than nothing. The general consensus seemed to be that I smelled good, but like a lady. Regardless, I would rather smell like a lady than like sweat.

One day, my roommates went out again. They texted me from Walmart, asking me if I wanted anything. I asked them for some real deodorant, like maybe Axe or something. Soon enough, they returned:

Hollywood Playboy Body Spray. They paid a whopping $4 for this at Walmart. I opened it to see how it smelled, and it was shockingly delicious. It smelled like neither a lady nor cinnamon marijuana. It was like a seductive cologne. I guess when a company is that lucrative, they can afford to make good products. My new body spray smelled so good, in fact, that everyone in my room used it every day for the remainder of the summer. And it worked.

I deliberately left the cologne at camp for others to find next year, and accidentally left the lady-deodorant there as well, but I was quite sure to bring my body spray home. Currently my supply is low, but still present. I went to Target the other day, and they regrettably did not have any in stock, so I suppose I'll be checking Walmart in a little while. I strongly suggest that you, reader, make an investment in your future by purchasing this body spray. It is worth every one of those four dollars.


  1. "And it worked." yeaaaaaah

  2. Been wearing this for years, might i reccomend the liquid colognes too? They have a more authentic fragrance, and dont use the propellant that gives the "spraypaint cologne" that strange, overpowering smell.