Utility Pockets: Update 2/18/11

So I've been outside all week. Specifically, I've been helping to build an outdoor classroom for a preschool, which has involved digging large holes, and cementing benches into them. That means that not only am I exceedingly dirty as I type this post, but also that my jacket is simply filthy. Before I put it in the wash, though, I've got to empty my pockets. And so, I present to you the contents of my Utility Pockets:

• One headlamp
• Two pairs of 3D glasses
• One bag of Apple-Cinnamon Cheerios (1/3 full)
• One bag of Honey-Nut Cheerios (nearly empty)
• UPDATE: empty
• One pair of clip-on sunglasses
• Two pencils
• One fountain pen
• That Zebra pen that I raved about last time I presented the status of the Utility Pockets
• One blue Staples pen
• Five physics problems on small slips of paper
• One pair of very cheap earbuds (used only once, for a test I was randomly selected for)
• One nasal cannula (basically, a breathing device that can be attached to a supplemental oxygen take for basic life support)
• Three chocolate wrappers
• One small clump of dirt
• One business card for Ken Salaz, a magician
• The back says "You will think of Lois and choose the word voices," which was relevant to one of his tricks
• My learner's permit
• Half of a ticket to my school's production of The Crucible
• One business card for my school's Assistant Headmaster (signed)
• One Dingoo Digital A320 gaming device

Just, you know. FYI.

The Emptying of the Utility Pockets

Some of you may recall the existence of Utility Pockets, which are essentially neverending black holes of stuff. I stopped wearing the UP-bearing jacket about a month or two ago, because it just got terribly dirty. You may be wondering why I didn't just put it in the wash, then; to this, I respond with a friendly reminder of how involved that process is, simply because of the sheer number of things I would need to put away. Well, this morning I finally took it upon myself to empty the pockets so I could wash my jacket. Here's the inventory of what I removed:

• 1 half-eaten bag of Cheerios (Apple-Cinnamon)
• Two pairs of 3D "Real-D" glasses - one from Coraline, one from Megamind
• A bulleted list of reasons that I am not a hipster
• Pens
• One Pilot Varsity fountain pen
• Two generic blue Staples pens
• One Pilot G-2 05
• One Zebra telescopic pen
• The coolest ever; I can't recommend this enough
• http://www.zebrapen.com/products/pen/telescopic-0?c=29
• One green pencil, in very poor shape
• Three green Hershey's Kiss wrappers
• One bulleted list of all the camping trips I've been on in the last four years
• Five physics problems, each written on a separate 1.5"x3" sheet of paper
• The phone numbers of two people in the Boy Scouts
• A sheet of notes that my guidance counselor took about my college hunt
• $10
• The phone number of Gunn, the coolest taxi driver (in Pittsburgh)
• Actually, he deserves an entire post dedicated to him.
• And, of course, the headlight.

Expect this to be a recurring thing. Except not that often. Because I don't really empty my pockets often. Ever.