Efficiency and Stairs.

So, I'm a pretty efficiency-oriented guy. Many things I do are geared toward getting my everyday processes done as efficiently as possible.

My screen about half an hour before writing this post. Maximum efficiency.

One rather obnoxious everyday process that I've had to overcome is climbing the stairs. Now, climbing the stairs is a big deal. If I want to go from point A to point B, I want to just appear in the other location. However, since I can't Apparate, I instead just make my way over as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, stairs act as a limiting factor in the amount of time I have to spend ambulating. There are fourteen stairs in my house, and climbing them one at a time is simply too slow.

Shirley Temple didn't like
climbing the stairs either.

Now, the way down the stairs would seem to be a rather small deal, since I have gravity to assist me. I often clambered down two at a time, sometimes taking the last four at once. However, my maternal parental unit always freaks out when I do that, because apparently I fell down the stairs twice as an infant. Once she caught me by the heel, but apparently once I went the whole way. So my new plan of action is as follows: Climb down one at a time, but allow the knee to sort of "break," or fold, as soon as the foot makes contact with the stair, so that the next foot can reach the next stair as quickly as possible. That works pretty well, and it probably increases my time by at least half a second per trip.

The bigger deal, of course, is going upstairs. Previously, I would often either climb the stairs as 2-2-2-2-2-2-2 (which is to say, two at a time), or 1-2-3-2-1-2-3 (just because I liked the pattern). However, this got boring quickly, so I went out to Facebook and proposed the question: What's the best way to climb up my 14 stairs?

Various ideas were tossed about, and the pros and cons of each step being done as a jump, a step, or a leap were discussed. Finally, what we decided on was 3-3-2-2-4:

• The first 3 would be aided by my grabbing onto the banister's vertical supports with my left hand.
• The second 3 would be accomplished by means of the remaining momentum from the initial boost.
• The 2s would just be typical two-at-a-time steps.
• The 4 at the end would involve me placing my right hand on the top of the stairway and ending in a crouching position.

At the end, I would be ready to spring into action, directly in front of the door to my room but able to pivot to the right if I was running upstairs to go to the bathroom. I would also be feeling thoroughly invigorated as a result of the super-manly finish. The conundrum of the stairs had finally been solved.

So that's what I think about stairs.